Knowing when "enough is enough". - Asdeen vibez

Knowing when "enough is enough".

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Most Nigerian children, if not every Nigerian child,  was or has been introduced to the rod (cane). Some countries see this as a form of domestic violence, but it's really only discipline. Discipline can be meted out with mouth and with actions, same also goes for domestic violence. It can however be categorized under domestic violence if it's meted out with extreme rage and causes bodily harm. The problem now is some of the kids(now grown) didn't see it as discipline but as mean spirited acts towards them.It doesn't even necessarily have to be a parent or aunt, it could be a sibling to sibling thing. I have met so many aggressive people who take no time in displaying when it's not even called for, no doubt, it is as a result of what happened intheir childhoods. It's especially the girls and women that are at the receiving end.
There has been a lot of domestic violence leading to death and one would think people would learn. I was discussing with my friend sometime ago about her large family. She is among the last four and of course, her elder ones dot on her. She also told me how her brothers beat her, but that was not even the shocking part of it. She was going on about one of her brother's girlfriend and went all like "He even beats her sef" and I was like what? Beating your girlfriend under another man's roof. She says it's a normal thing and the girl even comes back after that or does nothing, that they are in love. The young woman, in my opinion, has probably never witnessed real love because someone hitting your head on the wall and slapping you because of petty things, isn't love. The girl could see it as love if she has been exposed to violence her whole life. The man also would imagine he is showing affection according to his debilitated state of mind. I blame the girl because she refused to read in between the lines and she believes she is too far gone in the relationship to quit it. That is just nonsense. She should have known what she was getting herself into and when to say enough is enough and walk on him and even serve him with a restraining order if he proves stubborn.
For me, there are at least three or four things or signs that will make me leave my boyfriend or say no to a potential boyfriend.
1) Controlling behaviour: Tbh, I can't stand someone controlling me., especially when it has to do with  things concerning me. I mean, if it's a joint thing like where to eat out or what channel to watch I have no problem with that, but when a boyfriend starts telling you who you should talk with, telling you to quit your job, telling you when to go hang with your girls, then darling run, it won't end well.
2) Jealousy : Don't get my wrong me, a tad of jealousy is right for the relationship, but when it becomes extreme, like when you start wondering on a daily basis where his accusations are coming from, then issa no! I had this one boyfriend that hacked my Facebook account and started blowing my phone talking about he saw a message about a guy that said he missed me. I was so confused because the account he hacked was the one I use to watch funny skits. I had to go and check myself and discovered I didn't even have messages on the account. I confronted him and he went like he was playing and wanted to see if I was faithful. I broke up with him a month later like it was a joke.
3) Abusive nature: I'm not totally guitless here but there is a limit to it. There is the big nose, fish and all other laughable insult, there are verbal abuses going straight for your selfconfidence to destroy it. The feel they are helping you but in true sense, they are trying to bring their fantasy woman to live.
There are also others like manhandling,  getting rude to your friends and even disrespecting his mother. If you see all these signs, it's just a matter before he lays his hands on you. Women,as well as men should should understand and know the partners they're committing to.

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